Premium Excuses
Why deliver when you can excuse? Our collection of premium-grade excuses for every occasion.
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The Classic
"My dog ate the server." Works 60% of the time, every time. Perfect for when your infrastructure mysteriously disappears.
Effectiveness: Moderate
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The Natural Disaster
"A tsunami hit our data center in Kansas." Geography is optional when crafting the perfect excuse.
Effectiveness: Questionable
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The Extraterrestrial
"Aliens abducted our code repository." For when you need something truly out of this world.
Effectiveness: Cosmic
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The Time Paradox
"We're waiting for yesterday's deadline to arrive tomorrow." Confuse them with temporal mechanics.
Effectiveness: Timeless
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The Philosophical
"If a feature launches and no one uses it, did it really launch?" Deep thoughts for shallow excuses.
Effectiveness: Existential
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The Mystical
"Mercury is in retrograde, affecting our deployment pipeline." Blame the stars for earthly failures.
Effectiveness: Astronomical