Our Lies

We believe in transparency. Here are some of the lies we tell ourselves and our customers.

"We care about your feedback"

We have a feedback form that goes directly to /dev/null. Your suggestions are very important to us, which is why we ignore them completely.

Lie Level: Professional

"Your data is safe with us"

We store your data on a Post-it note that we occasionally lose. But don't worry, we have a very secure filing cabinet (it's actually a cardboard box).

Lie Level: Corporate Standard

"This will only take a minute"

Our "quick" setup process takes approximately 47 hours and requires a PhD in disappointment studies. But hey, who's counting?

Lie Level: Legendary

"We're working on it"

Our development team consists of one intern who quit last month. But we're definitely working on it. In our dreams. While sleeping.

Lie Level: Startup Classic