The Fine Print

Parody Disclaimer

This website is a work of satire created as a parody of tech startup culture and the typical overpromising, underdelivering nature of many modern companies. All content on this site is fictional and created for entertainment purposes only.

No actual boxes of disappointment are being sold, no pre-orders are being taken, and no waitlists are being maintained. Any forms on this site are non-functional demonstrations and do not collect or store any information.

Terms of Non-Service

By using this website, you agree to the following terms:

• You understand this is a joke and not a real company
• You will not attempt to send us money (we wouldn't know what to do with it)
• You acknowledge that any "products" mentioned do not exist
• You agree to laugh at least once while browsing this site (mandatory)
• You will not sue us for failing to deliver on promises we explicitly said we wouldn't keep

Privacy Policy

We don't collect your data because:

1. We don't know how
2. We don't want to
3. We're not a real company
4. Did we mention we're not real?

If we were a real company, we'd probably have a 20-page privacy policy written in legalese that basically says "we own all your data forever and will do whatever we want with it." But we're not, so we don't.

Intellectual Property

This parody website is created for entertainment purposes under fair use principles. We are not affiliated with, endorsed by, or connected to any real companies. All trademarks, logos, and brand names are the property of their respective owners.